Friday, November 23, 2012

I Challenge YOOOOUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuu!

A fellow blogger has issued a holiday challenge I think that;s worth repeating. His original post is HERE but in summary it goes a bit like this. The next time you are out and about, looking to buy some goodies for your collection or just to do some retail therapy in general, pick up something for those less fortunate. Here in the US we have the US Marine Corps Toy's for Tot's Program or the American Red Cross as great possibilies. Online donations are always good. Or even take some time and go through your closet, drop off some old clothes at the local shelter and such. Volunteer some time at the local animal shelter or soup kitchen. The folks in the northeast US are far from "OK" as far as Hurricane recovery is concerned, I've been down that road myself and it takes a long time (and I was quite lucky)  SO, I challenge all of you... to take a minute and a couple bucks or some time and help out someone else before the new year... or the world ends next month, which ever comes first. You never know about those tricksy Mayans.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

HAPPY BIRD! Gobble! Gobble!

For those of us here in the United States its time to celebrate the harvest. We celebrate by gorging ourselves on nap enducing turkey and various trimmings in mocking imitation of a bunch of European religious refuges who were being helped out by the indigenous Americans before the centuries long campaign of displacement and genocide was launched against them by the waves of follow up settlers. (FWIW, I'm part Haudenosaunee and part French/Irish/Scottish... so I'm constantly mad at myself for what I've done to myself, but too drunk to care while wearing a skirt that's not really a skirt and don't you dare call it a skirt or I'll whack ye wit me sheleaghle... or how ever its spelled.) BUT... I digress, it is a day to give thanks for what we have. I am thankful to be at my in-laws (the only family I have geographically close by) and out of the hospital.

Yup, the ol' Rednekk was in the hospital for a few days because grandfather Nurgle loves me SOOOOOoooooo much. So that's why no great posts. BUT... I do have a little holiday coming attractions for you, since I have started some new projects etc...

Ya know that cool fantasy Leech lord guy? "Wullsir, Imma make mea Epidermius outta him. Yessir!"  Herpaderpus will be his name. The Snake oil salesmen of Nurgle! In case you don't know what a 'Snake Oil salesman" is, these fellows(most famously) used to ply their wares in the American frontier towns throughout the 19th century (though I suspect they've been around in probably every century- these days we call them politicians) They were famous for selling "cure alls" which commonly were made from things such as snake vemon and just about anything, usually with little to no medicinal value and often with harmful side effects. They would roll into town, make some $$, hopefully not get tarred and feathered and run to the next town before folks found out what frauds they were. Sounds like a few o them fellers we voted fer here in the States just this month... don't it?

The plan, so far is to have the "leechlord" with his test subject on the front of the wagon. The little nurgling on the box mixing up the latest batch on the back. The wagon will be pulled by two plague bearers ... all on a 60mm base, with nurglings prancing about and some zombies as an audience.

As for the Templars, painting continues. One more stack of exhausts to finish on Blinky, the base, then painting begins. Painting on the troops has begin.I have received  a package from my friends in Warsaw, now I have rotary cannon goodness.

Work on the Templars of DOOooom comic has begun. Mostly on storylines. I had begun the the National Novel writing contest (50,000 word in the month of November.... but the whole hospital thing screwed that up) BUT... it got some good stuff like character names, background and such done, so great fun will be had after the first of the year.... once the hell that is working retail during December is over.

MARBO!!!!...err  well... his Nurgly stand-in, Sly Buboa. I have another plastic fantasy Chaos nurgle lord tostart with which will become my 'Marbo" stand-in. He was so much fun in the last game, even though he died horribly, that I think he will be a regular feature when the guard allies are involved.

AND... that's about it... for now.  I'm off to eat turkey and go into a trytophan coma.

Cheers Ya'll!

Monday, November 12, 2012

Battle Report: The Oasis of Hakkhma Durka!

DISCLAIMER: Yet another battle report, played with unfinished, unpainted and even, unassembled models, totally for fun. I wish I could say that many pointy eared Emo-Eldar were harmed in making this battle report, but…. Not nearly as many as I would have liked. Mistakes were made (mostly by me) but much fun/carnage was had. Now…. To build more narrative….

“There is the Oasis of Hakkhar-Durka, m’lord” Champion Syphilius pointed toward a patch of scraggly palm trees in a depression below.

“About friggin time, poor Buttnugget is getting all dried out and scaly.” The hulking Daemon Prince remarked, peeling some dry skin off of the little Nurgling’s head as it satin his shadow panting.  “Is it me…. Or do I smell donuts?”

“It must be the heat, your Grace.” Gravul flexed his mutated left arm proudly as the other two shot him an annoyed glare. The nurgling wagged his finger at the man and cursed him nonsensically, until he farted, then began to giggle. Gravul had been a prison Custodius (albeit a very corrupt one) before the rebellion on the dusty world of BashurpaDur, now he lead a hoard of former prisoners and underhive scum, that just so happened to capture some serious hardware. Their Leman Russ Punisher rumbled along in support of 20 of his lot.

“The Doombull’s nose is never wrong.” Syphilius grumbled. “Why don’t you take your rabble and tank down to the trees in support of Ahnold and Bob. NOW.” The newly mutated Custodian snapped to it and ran down the hill to his men.

“Hmmmmm, Boston crèmes. I love Boston Crèmes” The great beast sniffed, in a slight daze. “It HAS to be a trap. But set by whom? Where’s Sly?”

A bulky figure seemed to rise out of the sand beside him, making the little nurgling start and Syphilius raise his boltgun. The sand covered figure turned his attention to the champion, sneering beneath the horn protruding from his forehead. “Ehhhhh, Yo aaIIIIi Oh ahhhAaa?”

“Ah, there you are.” The Daemon Prince still sniffed the air, drool running down it snout. “Would you be a good man and recon the oasis for me. Something is amiss.”

The figure raised a rusted knife to his temple in salute “Iiiah ain’gonna quit.” He muttered and seemed to vanish into the sands.

“That bastard gives me the creeps.” Syphilius lowered his pistol.

“He has his uses.” Muttered the Beast. “Send the rest into the oasis to find the munitions stash. “ It ordered, setting off down the dunes to the ruins west of the green patch. “You and your men come with me.” It sniffed the air. “Yup, definitely Boston Crèmes.”

Once again, I faced off against the insidious Broodnest. But this time, with his insidious Dark Eldar, who are very…. Insidious.  A 2000 point free-for-all over a hidden munitions cache in the oasis of Hakkhar-Durka. At least, that is what had brought the Templars of DOOooom there. The Dark Eldars goals were far more nefarious…. and insidious.

It would be my first experiment with Allies. Along with the Templars, there was a Lord Commissar (Gravul), 2 penal squads a Leman Russ Punisher, with Heavy Bolter sponsons and  MAAAaaaRBOOoooo….. or at least a gross, nurgly stand in for him. For other experiments, I tried a new incarnation of the Doombull, 2 units of 10 marines (Squads Syphilius and Pusticlese) with mark of Nurgle, autocannon and Plasmagun, 7 plague marines (with a plasma gun), both defilers and my forgefiend Blinky.  Could I had made a better list? Definitely. Did I learn a few things from my mista….er,uhm experiments. Why, yes….yes I did. First and foremost, the Doombull is totally friggin useless in the face of a dozen freshly baked Boston Crèmes. They are vanilla custard filled Kryptonite.

Broodnest’s list was full of pointy eared shenanigans. The Archon with his soul prison and husk blade, and general aloof smugness, was accompanied by 15 witches, who I’m fairly certain he had recent carnal knowledge of.  2 units of 6 jetbikes each with 2 heat lances, 2 ravengers, 2 raiders ,10 trueborn with WAaaayyyy too many shooty panzy weapons, 5 more trueborn with blasters. Since they were Trueborn, they got to ride in the sail barges with jabba. The 10 wracks got to hoof it in the hot sun, while 3 creepy Homunkuleys creeped around, being generally creepy…and insidious.

The munitions crates (the only model on the table besides "Marbo" and the Leman Russ that was fully painted….and the tank was painted for another army, I might add) were placed in the oasis. Deployment was made. I rolled Exalted champion for my Warlord trait, which was absolutely useless since I didn’t have any Boons to roll. While the Archon got Coordinated Assault, which was not absolutely useless to the already fast Eldar raiders. One penal squad got assault 2 lasguns, while the other rolled up the furious-countercharge-fleet package. Always frightening from guardsmen. An attempt to seize the initiative from me failed and the battle at Hakkhar-Durka began.

TURN 1: Will you PLEASE stop buying ammo from the Orks?!?

A sort of general advance, lead by the scouting convicts into the oasis was underway, supported by what seemed to be an overwhelming number of ‘big things with guns’. Doombull was feverishly digging away looking for the donuts on the far left, why I didn’t make him a psyker this game is just… well, stupid. Live and learn. He would end up being largely wasted for the game. BUT…. Those creepy Eldar know how to make a damned tasty Boston crème. The Leman Russ opened up with 29…. Yes 29… heavy bolter shots unto the Witches. Much sandstone was churned into dust, but I only managed to wound 9, 5 of which felt no pain, so I only killed 4. The trend was once again set for my dice.  Not-so-smilin’ Bob, laid a battlecannon into the Wracks and killed all but 2 of them along with their Humonklypuss. Of course those 2 happened to be the liquefier gun toting freaks. Ahnold reminded me of why he had been chosen for an overhaul, but did manage to kill 2 bikers. Neither marine squad could hit anything with their autocannons, which leads me to believe they were purchased from the same Ork that sold them the missile launchers in Petrastad. Ahnek Ghul died (from having a twisted frying pan shoved up his..uh, yooohooo by the Doombull) before he could settle up. Damned Bad Moons. They must work for Tzeentch.

The Dark Eldar fusillade to follow was largely concentrated on my heavies. The Ravager on the right immobilized the Leman Russ. Bob a beating, losing his battlecannon and another hull point. Ahnold took several hits, but saved, taking a hull point from a glance. There was a general advance ….. an insidious general advance.

TURN 2: It’s a bird! It’s a plane! NO…seriously, It’s a PLANE!

Ahnold opened up my turn with his battlecannon, killing 4 bikers from the unit he had not shot last turn. The shooty convicts finished off the two remaining bikers in that unit with a hail of lasgun fire. The other convicts, hiding among the palmettos, fired on the Witches and managed to kill one. Bob launched himself at the 5 dismounted Trueborn who had shot up his battlecannon. The Leman Russ crew proved that when you have 26 shots, you can still miss with most of them, but did manage to “shake’ the Ravager that had immobilized them. Bob’s power scourge reduces the Trueborn’s WS by 2, but he fails to land enough of his close combat attacks, only killing one. Their haywire grenades take away another Hull point. “It Will Not Die” rolls are friendly to the Defilers, restoring hull points.
 THEN…. In comes the Voidraven. OH…. How I LOATHE the Voidraven. Although, it’s initial appearance was anti-climactic. Having a deep seated hatred for Blinky, my opponent concentrated on her. The Voidraven fired, but failed to hurt her. The Ravager and remaining bikers, however were able to kill my poor Blinky outright. A marine from Squad Syphilius died in the hellfire explosion. The Trueborn on the raider opened up on Squad Syphilius and basically shot the hell out of it. I helped by failing TWELVE …yes, TWELVE armor saves. But at least, the Doombull got to eat his donuts unmolested. The remaining Witches and Archon charged into the melee with Bob, who’s Scourge reduced their WS by 3 this time. 2 more Trueborn died and the collective hail of Haywire grenades reduced Bob to 1 remaining Hull point. But…. He was still kickin’…. And definitely NOT smilin’.


Since the Turret still worked, I decided it’d be a ton of fun to fire 26 shots at the Void Raven. I mean… seriously, how could I NOT get enough ‘6’s to bring it down. Well, apparently, rolling 26 of my dice, is how NOT to get enough ‘6’. I DID manage to score ONE hull point, but missed with 23 of the 26. I can’t imagine there were any coconuts left in the palm trees at the oasis after that mess. My infantry in the center tightened up on the objective, the penal squads killing the last two Wracks and the plague marines taking out another Biker.  Ahnold engaged the Ravager and managed to miss, but may have stirred the Doombull into action as he rounded the sandstone to assault the Ravager. I’m assuming that a combination of sweet vanilla crème and intense desert heat didn’t mix well, since he spent his charge attempt barfing up those hard earned donuts in the sand. Bob’s scourge denied the Eldar 3 WS AGAIN…. But the number of haywire grenades robbed him of his last Hull Point before he could strike back. The remaining Witches and Archon consolidated into the trees.

The Void Raven attempted to bomb the plague marines and missed, dropping its bomb down the well and ruining the water supply with a glorious roll to wound of SNAKE EYES. (the one bright moment for me in the Eldar turn…. The rest went to hell in a sh*t filled hand bag)  The 10 Trueborn in the raider shot the heck out of the vomiting Doombull causing 11 wounds, 3 of which I failed to save.  The Ravager lays into Ahnold with some top notch shooting and he blows up. The two remaining Trueborn from the fight with Bob, shoot the Leman Russ with their blasters and take away its last Hull Point. It explodes, knocking over a couple marines in Squad Pusticlese, but they make their saves. The Witches charge the remaining shooty Convicts who manage to kill 2 with Overwatch fire, before they are ripped to shreds.  The Humonkyfus charges into the other convict squad. I manage to wound the creepy bastard with Overwatch fire, but the close combat results in a stalemate thanks to quirky dice rolls on both our parts.

TURN 4: Where’s Marbo?

FINALLY….. FINALLY….. I get my Nurgly Marbo from reserve. Palm fronds in the wrecked grove twitch and a half decayed arm, sand stuck to open wounds lobs a Demo charge disguised as a wedding bouquet into the Witches. Not being able to resist, one of their number catches it, while the others dive for cover and paints the grove red.  I managed to hit nearly all of them with the blast template, but only 1 failed her cover save. Pity. The lone surviving member of Squad Syphilius, who had been hiding behind the sand stone, fires his bolter and takes out one of the last 3 jetbikes. Squad Pusticlese just tears apart the last two Trueborn that had taken out the Leman Russ. The close combat between half dozen remaining convicts and the Humunklyman is resolved with them hacking the creepy bastard to pieces with their shanks. Understandably peeved about hoarking up his precious Boston Crèmes, the Doombull plays hulky-smash with the Ravager and ends its insidious reign of terror.

That pesky Voidraven turns around and hits the plague marines with an Implosion missile, killing 4. Then guns down the remaining 2. The Trueborn in the Raider sneak up…. Insidiously, and shoot Gravul in the back. The raider shoots at the Doombull, who winks…complaining… from existence. THEN the true purpose of this whole bloodbath is finally gleaned.  The Archon charges the Nurgly Marbo, jams him with the Husk Blade and then opens his Soul Trap. “AAAIiiiiiiiii Aaaaaaiiiiinnn’ Gonnnnnnna Quiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit” echoes throughout the shattered palm grove as marbo is sucked into the Archons little treasure box and he laughs….. insidiously, while standing atop the empty boxes of the supposed ‘weapons cache’. Insidious…… Insidious, indeed.

According to the ‘official’ after action report from Champion Pusticlese, the four remaining convicts fought a valiant ‘delaying action’ with the 6 remaining Witches, while the marines slipped away to deliver the report and …uh….collect reinforcements. Yeah…. That’s it. Collect reinforcements.

“Why do you always DO that!?! Can’t you just let me die in battle!?! What will the men think?” The Doombull raged in the bowels of the Bulwark of Despair. 

“Oh, there, there, youngling” he disjointed baritone of Bfrapdurpahurr the Overfiend echoed throughout the bubbling sulfur mud and roiling hot geysers, “We could not bear the thought of losing you. We will give you gifts so that you may bring vengeance upon those weaklings that had offended you.”

The mane of greasy hair along the Doombull’s neck and back caught fire. The Beast wailed as Bfrapdurpahurr’s baritone thrummed a chuckle. The fire spread and began to consume him, smoldering through his eye sockets and bellowing from his mouth. As he fell into the boiling sulfur mud, the Doombull stretched his arms and screamed. The flames leapt high from his back and grew…. Into flaming wings. The conflagration continued for what seemed to be an age until the Doombull snapped awake.
He wreaked of death and decay…as usual… and of sulfur, brimstone and burning flesh.

“There. Do you not feel better?” the Daemon asked.

“No” the Doombull gasped. “That friggin’ hurt.”

“Would donuts make it better?” Bfrapdurpahurr the Overfiend, cooed sweetly.

“Donuts make everything better” the Doombull broke the slightest of smiles.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Templars of DOOooom: Blinky!

I just didn't feel like painting today, So I did some sculpting. 

I decided Blinky needed something more nurgly on his side for exhausts. Here's a composite of what I've done for tonight.

I'm trying for that fungusy,old haunted mutant tree with tentacle thing. I think its pretty good for a first shot. There will be some fine tuning once it hardens.

The gang over at the Mighty BOLTER and CHAINSWORD forum responded well to the idea of Blinky doing the cutesy "Please don't shoot me.... I'm cute" / Puss and boots thing.....  SO...  I repositioned the guns, did a little sculpting and some quick goofing around with the photo editor.... and here you go, from the opponent's point of view.....

Coming attractions is pretty much as it was last time, except for Blinky, though I'll likely get more done tonight while I avoid watching the election results.

Cheers Ya'll!

Friday, November 2, 2012

More Stinking Traitors....

The Templars of DOOooom and their cultist/traitor auxilliaries are largely worshippers of Nurgle, with some Khorne thrown in... for uh.... extra fiber. But really, how can you have a Chaos force, especially one that is tongue-in-cheek, without having some frothing at the mouth nutters that just want to hack stuff up? Since I have that theme going in the Chaos Marine force, I figured I should carry it on in the Traitor Guard as well. And who better to be a purple faced raging jerk than a Commisar? SO..... here's my Commisar Yarrick stand-in ..

Also started work on the creepy little cultist infantry guys. These guys will have creeps as weapon mules for their heavy weapon teams. That should be all kinds of fun to convert.  As you can see, they are a bit.. short...
Hopefully, I'll never play anyone that gives me crap about their height. I hate that kind of douchebaggery. I think I may model some of them on debris or stuff so they have a mix, just to be nice.

One last, quick conversion. I've been trying to think of what to do with my Dark Vengeance Chaos Lord. The thing that kept coming to mind was sorceror. So here's my quick and dirty conversion. Otherwise, the model is so friggin' cool I really did not see a reason to do much else to him...other than paint him.

That's all for now. Hope to get my grubby little hands on some of the cool new Chaos Fantasy minis this weekend, specifically the Leechlord guy.

Cheer's ya'll!