Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Dirty stinkin' Traitors..... The Bloody 7th is BACK!

I've been working on my traitor guard army on and off since....well, hmmmm..... I think the last Guard codex came out. Truth be told some of the conversions(or parts there of) go back to a hoard of plague zombies and traitors from the "Eye of Terror" codex days.  This Squad of veterans, for example, once included beastman parts and has actually been through a couple reconversions and some repriming.  But, here they are in their final "tabletop level' paint scheme.


Much of my renewed enthusiasm has to do with the new Chaos Space Marines codex, of course. With cultists and Imperial Guard Allies available, that opens up a lot of possibilities for my largest and favorite army. My Orks might even get built too, because the idea of Freebooter allies is just too much fun to not build. 

But, back to the Crixus Bloody 7th... I have been working on Ahnek Draugar's command team, and with the exception of the weapons option (which I just can't seem to settle on.... probably because I haven't actually played the Guard yet) ... it is done.  First, the Ahnek and his team..

Another shot of the Medic, Master Voxx and Icon bearer...

And last, but not least.... The Ahnek's stand in when I want a "bare-bones" Captain, without paying for Straken, the Artillery Officer who calls in the big guns... and two cultist "volunteers" who have the honor of jumping in front of bullets/whatever aimed at their officer... Or in Draugar's case, he just grabs them and uses them as shields.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
 I figured I'd start a new bit where I update what I'm working on, so you get some sort of idea what might be seen in the upcoming posts.

APOSTLES OF QUETZA: Terminators and 3 bikers are primed. Undercoat painting on the Chaplain and Librarian have begun.

TEMPLARS OF DOOooom: Blinky's eyeball is done, now all the detail sculpting begins.  Not-so-smilin' Bob's front end has been primed. Still need to finish construction/scuplting on AHhnold. Dark Apostle Fleghmgrem has been primed and a ton of cultists are in progress. A bunch of marines in their two basic colors are on my desk so I can try to figure out what "table top quality" is going to be with them. I have such a hard time saying "Yup...that's good enough."

The "BLOODY 7th":   3 Missile launcher teams are primed along with a couple snipers. The next unit is being considered and may be made up of dual purpose cultist/infantry models.  I'll likely have to make a platoon command group. Also noodling out a Lord Commisar/Commisar Yarrick conversion.... which will be Khorny. ;)

Da REDNEKKZ:  Sitting in a large bin under my art desk wondering when I'm going to work on them again.  The Warpig of the Orkpacalypse is waiting impatiently for me to stop hemming and hawing over how to build the seat and controls and just build it already!

RAPTORS: STRIKE FORCE ICKARIUS:  Tucked away snuggly in their foam army cases, the Dreadnaughts wondering when I'm going to finish the detail work on them. The 4 marines who are destined to flesh out one of the tactical squads are cleaned up and on my work table. 

That's all for now. Cheer's Ya'll!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Templars and Apostles: Quick Update

I thought I'd drop a quick modelling update on the armies.  I've got a few days off coming up the first part of next week, so it should be very productive. Though I do have to consider if I want to torture myself with THIS evil month long project this year or not.

TEMPLARS OF DOOooom!

After his stunning debut at the Pooping Gargoyle Mercantile Plaza, in the lovely, upscale west side of Petrastad, Blinky needed that eye. So here's the first application....
There is a wooden ball in there, which I misjudged the size of when I bought it at the local craft store, SO... I took the dremel to the neck aperture and aired it out a bit. The wood grain showed through on the paint test, so I covered the exposed eye in the finer grain putty and started 'fleshing out' the gribbly parts. Mostly it was to get the basic form in and let everything harden. I still have some seam lines to clean up (yeah.... 15 years building and judging scale models made me a bit retentive about that kind of thing), but otherwise it'll be down to the sculpting and seeing what I can figure out for a base.  Bug parts would be fitting.....

Not-So-Smilin' Bob is pretty much ready for a little repriming and then painting.  He's a whole new Bob with a whole new attitude. Twin linked devourer sodomy will do that to ya....

Otherwise I'm in the midst of a ton of building,cleaning and priming. By weeks end, my Dark vengeance cultists should all be primed and I'll be converting my 40 creepy Plague Monk based guys. Most of these guys I plan to use for double duty in my Traitor Imperial Guard Army and my Templars. One of the 3 pillars of the Templars of DOOooom is the cultist/traitor army, so they will be represented well.

APOSTLES OF QUETZA:

I also got some final work done on the characters. The Interrogator chaplain has joined the ranks of the trophy taking Jaguar Warriors, as befits his terminator honors.

More feathers, a jaguar tail and a nice chunk of Tyranid Warrior skull plate.

I've been agonizing over the force weapon for the Librarian. Somewhere along the way I remember reading about the Black Swords of the Dark Angels or something like that, being cut from a block of Obsidian.  While I've wanted to kind of avoid the whole stone/obsidian weapon thing, I thought in this case (since he's likely to be my chief Librarian) , the idea of a psyk-sensitive stone (dare I say....Warpstone) battle club might be cool. So, I whittled me up one..... and here it be.


At one point I tried a Jaguar tail out on him, but it was just too busy, though it still could happen before painting begins. But, I have the 5 terminators, 3 bikes and these two guys to get ready to paint, so hopefully that will happen over my long weekend.

Maybe..... just maybe, I'll see if I can't sneak a game in with that pesky Broodnest again. He was threatening to break some Dark Eldar out on me.

Cheers ya'll!

Monday, October 22, 2012

Templars of DOOooom!: BATTLE REPORT.

DISCLAIMER: The following battle report was, once again, played with partially painted armies. If fact, there were even models with no paint at all….or heads, for that matter. The army lists were not meant to be competitive and the tactics were far from perfect (as was the dice rolling…. But I blame Tzeentch for that)


Petrastad. 

Gods… He was tired of this ruined city. Pops and pings of flatulence echoed inside his rotten Terminator armor, like some offbeat melody played by a small, simple minded child with a stick and an old trash can lid. A plump nurgling waddled by adding a few wet, sloppy notes to the impromptu symphony.  He knew he shouldn’t have eaten that damned Deathleaper.

“The last of the Boston Creams are secure aboard the transport, m’lord” Scabborous reported as he chewed.

“I hope you left a few for the Doombull….” Ahnek Ghul clacked his mandibles, looking at the vanilla custard dribbling from the left side of Scabborous’ mouth. Or was that just pus? Frankly, the guy’s face was a decrepit mess, so it was hard to tell. “… you know how he feels after being snatched from the field by the Overfiend.” The great Daemon Prince never died. Oh, he came close. A lot. But his daemonic patron, Bfrapdurpahurr the Overfiend, who resided deep in the bowels of the Bulwark of Despair, would never let his favorite disciple be harmed. Whenever death loomed, he would snatch the great beast away to fight another day.  It had given the Doombull quite a complex on top of his already fragile self esteem.

“Never fear, Lord Ghul!” shouted a loud, yet lispy voice. “Da old godsh have guided ush here to asshisht you” It was the ever bombastic Apostle Flehgmgrem with a hoard of shambling cultists behind him. Grandfather Nurgle seemed to like those with speech impediments.  It wasn’t the mass of sad looking humanity that brought the hint of a smile to his toothy fang filled maw, but the hulking forms of two daemon engines behind them, especially the glowing yellow diseased eye of Blinky, the rotary cannon toting Forgefiend.

“Save it for your slaves, priest.” Ghul pointed his great scythe towards to the ruins to the east. “We go to Pooping Gargoyle Plaza.” He bellowed to the two squads of marines and the assembled throng of cultists. “I want my frying pan back.”

You know those beautiful sunny Florida days they advertise all the time, well…. it was one of those. What better reason than to hide inside the cavernous gaming area of my favorite local gaming/hobby/comic establishment from the insidious, bright light that plagues us Floridians so very often. It was time for a rematch with Broodnest and his hive fleet.  Ghul wanted his favorite frying pan back and I had a new Chaos codex. So it was time to see if a new book would make any difference or if the Templars would just continue to suck.

Convinced my continuing string of questionable luck had something to do with my ancient codex and a running curse from my old college roommate and Tzeentch-fanboy, THE Sean, I had nearly pulled a college like all nighter, to get my models together for the fight. The big difference between those all nighter and this one being the marked lack of Mountain Dew, no 10-pack of soft tacos and not being 22 anymore. Tired and under the influence of a “5 hour energy” booster and a couple candy bars, I set about my attempt to retake the Pooping Gargoyle Mercantile Plaza. 

We set up the table to be just up the road from the last battle.  It focused more on the ruined park at the end of the Plaza, with half the table being ruined building and the other half representing  trees, the parks restrooms and the strip mall containing eateries. Once again, we sort of ignored the book missions. We took 12” deployment zones on each side of the table and put a single objective in the center- an underground power conduit entrance that contained the mangled, chewed up remains of Ghul’s prized campaign frying pan.


The armies were 2000 points. 

 The Templars of DOOooom were led to the field by Ahnek Ghul (Typhus), the Dark Apostle Flehgmgrem(Apostle w/Mark o’ Nurgle, Aura of Dark Glory, Gift of Mutation…AND…. The Black Mace- just because I wanted to try it out). 

2 Chaos Marine units of 10 marines (Mark of Nurgle, Missile launcher, Plasma gun, Champion with powerfist- the units from the last game)
21 cultists w/ Mark o’ Nurgle, autoguns, heavy stubber
35 cultists who would be plague zombies- who actually had no heads or arms…
Hellbrute w/ reaper autocannon (which looked suspiciously like a multi-melta)
“Not-so-smilin’ Bob”Defiler w/ Powerscourge, dirge caster and warpfire gargoyles
“Blinky” Forgefiend w 2 Hades Autocannons and 1 big missing eye
3 bikers w/ Mark of Nurgle, Champ w/ Lightning Claw and 2 plasma guns- these guys looked suspiciously like Dark Angels…. But I can’t prove it
And …2 Obliterators w, mark O’Nurgle. All marines and Oblits had veterans of the Long war.

The Bugs were led by that pesky flying Hive Tyrant and his Tyrant buddy afoot (accompanied by 3 donut hungry Tyrant Guards) Bertha the tervigon,  2 Trygons and a Mawloc,  20 Hormagaunts with toxin sacs, 10 Gaunts,3 Hive guard, 3 Zoanthropes and 7 Ygmarl genestealers- because tentacles on the face are very stylish on the west side of Petrastad these days.

I rolled up Gift of Contagion for a second psychic power and Eternal Warrior for the Dark Apostles gift of mutation. Broodnest rolled up his plethora of psychic powers and we were ready to begin. I started off by losing the dice roll. So I set up first.

 “What is wrong with that large mob of cultists?!? Why are they just walking out into the park?” Ghul demanded over the coms.

“Oh, shorry about dat.” Fleghmgrem sputtered” Does helmetsh dey got were shupposed to help reprogram dem. Somehow, de shignalsh got mikshed up and dey were ekshposed to 48 hours of The Learning Channel. One can only take sho much “Here comesh Honey Boo Boo” before the mind jusht gives out.”


TURN 1: Walkin’ in the Park.

The victims of the Honey Boo Boo plague wandered out into the park… toward the restrooms, straight toward the walking Hive Tyrant. Meanwhile, the rest of the army decided Bertha- who had rolled up a nasty combination of Warp Speed, Iron Arm and Endurance for psychic powers- needed to go before she got all juiced up and started popping out babies. The resultant fire from 2 missile launchers, the hellbrute, the defiler’s battle cannon and the Forgefiend ended up causing 5 wounds she failed to save from. My opponent’s hatred of the Forgefiend began to fester. It would be an ooooooozing sore by game’s end. 

Oh…. How he hates Blinky.

With an overall advance and some return fire, 1 hull point was caused against “Not so Smilin’ “ Bob the Defiler

TURN 2: Raid: It kills bugs dead.

I never understood that phrase “Kills ---- dead”  Well, duh. It’s not like you are going to kill something ‘slightly wounded”…. ANYWAYS….. the next turn opened up with a firestorm. Diego the Trygon had positioned himself near the objective, apparently attracted by the lingering aroma of centuries of bacon grease. Nothing quite like a good old cast iron skillet. Blinky and Bob took great exception to this and opened up on the monster, killing him outright. Did I mention my opponents growing disdain for the Forgefiend?  Stompy with his new autocannon (which looks an awful lot like his multi-melta) finished off Bertha, before she could cause any trouble. For what it’s worth, the boys still couldn’t hit with their missile launchers for pretty much the whole game, though the one good shot made by the boys with Ahnek Ghul, did contribute to Diego’s death. The 21 cultists on the far right unloaded their rapid fired autoguns and heavy stubber into the Flying Tyrant, managing enough ‘6’s to get him to take a crash test, though he passed.

 
MEANWHILE….. in the park. The zombies executed a shambling charge into the Hive tyrant and his guard.  This was before the FAQ release, so the 35 plague zombie idea was still in question with the in-store TO, but he thought it was great for a friendly game.  They made contact and unleashed 36 attacks on the Tyrant Guard, killing 1, then the bloody, rotting body parts started to fly. The only glory the zombies would achieve (besides being a speed bump/distraction) was over. 7 died immediately and some weird dice rolls(me rolling 5-6, him rolling 1’s) saved at least that many.



The Flying tyrant had enough of autogun bullets and the Forgefiend, so he swooped in for the attack. Traumatized Bob looked on as the flyrant unleashed the same blistering devourer attack that had savaged Bob’s backside in the last game.  Blinky shrugged it off, taking only 1 hull point between that and the ensuing close combat. Weird dice again, must be Tzeentch’s work….I never roll that good.  Blinky put a wound on the Flyrant.  Bob had problems of his own when the Mawloc popped up out of the ground between him and the bikers. In the park…the hormagaunts charged into the zombies, killing 11 more, the Tyrant and guard took a few as well, though the zombies did manage to kill 3 hormagaunts.



TURN 3: MACE to the FACE!

There was some jockeying for better spots and ineffective firing to open my turn. Try as they might, my marines still couldn’t hit anything and actually cause a wound, although I was proud that both the plasma gunners had managed not to kill themselves yet. The Obliterators arrive, dropping in near the objective and open fire on the hive guard with twin linked plasma guns, only scoring 1 wound. Stompy fires on them as well, but to no avail. Fleghmgrem and his cultists moved through the building (another 6?!?) and then charged into the fray with the Flyrant and Forgefiend. The Apostles challenge met, he managed to survive (taking one wound) and then BLAM!!.... BLACK MACE TO THE FACE!... the Apostle delivered 7 attacks and the Black Mace paid for its 45 point cost by killing the Flyrant.  A roll on the Boon table gave Fleghmgrem a +1 to his Weapon Skill. Flush with victory, he and his brood pointed themselves toward the objective.


The bikers charged out toward the objective and fired on the Hive Guard, causing 1 wound, one of them suffering a misfire. The skulking termagaunts fired and killed one of them. Bob used his power scourge on the Mawloc, the flail knocking down the critter’s WS by 2, but he still got the worse end of the close combat by being penetrated, yet again and getting wrecked. Meanwhile, Blinky’s “It Will Not Die” recovered a hull point for him… just in time too.

The Hive Guard hit one of Blinky’s Hades cannons. The Zoanthropes opened up on the marines in the Food court, but they managed to save. The mawloc went after the two remaining bikers and killed them handily. The last of the zombies (and I mean the last…. One had survived the previous round of close combat) died and the remaining Tyrant his 2 guards and the hormagaunts moved in the direction of the objective.

TURN 4: IS THIS INFECTED?

Somehow, I manage to pull off ‘The Gift of Contagion” on the remaining Trygon and Fluffy is not feeling so good, ending up with a -1 to Strength and Toughness.  The Obliterators use their heavy flamers on the Hive guard. The mawloc is hit by fire from the marines and cultists on the right, Stompy, Blinky and dies.


 The 2 hive guard and zoanthropes fire on Blinky, chipping away at his hull points, but he still has one left. The real nastiness happens on the left, where the Ygmarl genestealers pop up and attack the marines in the food court….and so does Fluffy. The Squad is just destroyed, torn to pieces. The hormagaunts don’t fair to well, their charge puts them into contact with the Obliterators but the heavy flamers on overwatch kill the closest 5, leaving them basically standing in the open.


 At this point, there is no way the objective would remain uncontested, but there was still and all-or- nothing push by anyone in the area.

*We have to work on our product placement, the Coca Cola people would not be happy*

TURN 5: PULL MY FIIIIINGEERRRRRRRRR!!!

The Obliterators hose the hormagaunts with assault cannon fire, leaving only 3 alive. Stompy finishes off the wounded Hive Guard. Fleghmgrem and his boys move toward the objective, but even with a run….which was really more like a stumble… they fall about 4” short. Blinky fires on the Tyrant and his guard (since they are the next closest to the objective) but  causes only 1 wound. Ahnek Ghul charges through the food court, vaults the taco topping bar and charges into combat with Fluffy. However, compared to his previous incarnation, his weapon is no longer poisoned… and an attempt to use its FORCE weapon status is dampened by the Hive tyrant’s Shadow of the Warp. So Fluffy lives, though with only 2 wounds remaining. Ghul takes 2 himself. Blinky can’t get back a hull point from “It Will Not Die”….which would have been comical, seeing my opponent’s seething hatred for him by this point in the game.



The last Hive Guard is able to take down Blinky’s last hull point. The Ygmarl piled in on Ghul, who…. Since the game is ending anyways…. Plants his scythe in the ground and screams “PULL MY FINGER” and lets lose the Destroyer Hive, which fails to hurt Fluffy, but kills several genestealers before they tear him apart. The termagaunts charge the Obliterators at the objective, to little avail… but tie them up in melee. 



No one holds the objective all units near it are in close combat. A Draw. 

Fleghmgrem knelt near the edge of the dais aboard the Bulwark of Despair, listening to the smacking of lips and general slobbering of gluttony. The great beast looked up from the great stone table, its platter of shattered donuts and vanilla cream filling, chocolate handing from the ring it its dirty bovine nose.

“What?!? Can’t you see I’m busy?” the Doombull grumbled in a sad, mouth filled whine.

The Apostle dropped an item to the rusty iron deck plating, it clanged like the ringing of a muffled bell. It was a cast iron skillet the size of a normal human’s ribcage, gnawed and deformed by monstrous jaws. The daemonic bull quickly popped another donut in his mouth. He had to do it quickly, his mere touch began their decay, they would mold and shrivel in his hands. 

“And Ghul?”

“He ish in de Infirminary, m’lord.”

“And the rest?”

“The fleet continues the bombardment.”

“Good. Want a donut?” He held up the Boston crème between his fingers and watched it turn brown, then black, then shrivel to ash. His ears drooped and he frowned, tossing the nugget of decay aside , into the waiting mouths of his nurglings.

“Don’t mind if I do” said Fleghmgrem as he rose and crossed the dais to the great stone table.

 We totaled up the kill points… just for laughs…. And Broodnest had edged me out by one, for the genestealers being in my deployment zone, but we both agreed had killpoints been an objective, we would have likely played a bit different. It was a fun and hard fought game, with some really sad, yet comical dice fails on both sides. I made a few mistakes, the biggest of which was forgetting about the Warpfire Gargoyles on a couple of my weapons. The way I was rolling, they might have caused a wound or two.

 Overall, I love,love,love my new codex and can’t wait to explore more of the unit options.  The 35 plague zombies, which all the interwebs tournament gaming community is aflame over, worked as a “tarpit”…though more like a “tar puddle” I had an agenda…. Which was to tie up the foot Tyrant, which I did for 2 turns and kept him from reaching the objective area. He really did little else in the game, so in that way they were a good 150 point investment. They didn’t kill a lot (though the initial charge was kind of impressive, especially since it was only half the unit) but they did their job.  They do die easily, but they can’t be broken, so you have to kill them. The one flaw I see (which I’m surprised wasn’t also FAQ’ed)… is that they should have been “Fearless, Feel No Pain, Slow and Purposeful…and  ‘may not hold objectives”…. That would solve any griping. I mean, they are zombies…. But I guess the idea is, you have control of them.  Maybe the other way to do it would have been “may only hold objectives if typhus is alive”… that would have made sense too.  BUT…. Since I have to fight things like the Grey knights and such, I’ll take what I can get. NOW…. To get my hands on a flyer..or two.

Cheers Y'all!

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Templars of DOOooom: Defiler update

Well, I've been a sculpting machine the last few days.  Here's how AHhnold is coming along...
And the weapon arm- Battlecannon and reaper....

Since Ahhnold was getting an overhaul and Smilin' Bob hasn't been the same since the "Devourer sodomy" incident in the last battle report. I figured he needed a bit more than Enzyte to restore his confidence.
 Both of the boys will get a power scourge, just because they are too cool.  Hmmm.... these just happen to be laying around......

 Also started my Forgefiend......


And as long as I had the putty out, I dressed up my Apostles terminators with some fur and jaguar tails...
The sergeant got a pair of lightning claws. Its hard to see in the grey putty, but the tails do have some texture. I figured they'd make good additions to honor badges,shields and such. The Templars of DOOooom are off for their first battle with the new codex. Time to settle up with those bugs in Petrastad..... hopefully, and get Ghul's favorite frying pan back. Battle report will be the next post, so stay tuned.

Cheer's Ya'll!


Thursday, October 11, 2012

The Apostles of Quetza: Update

Here's some work on converting the Dark Vengeance guys...

The sergeant of my first tactical squad, with his chain macuahuitl...

And the first squad of Terminators....soon to be Jaguar Warriors...

Depending on how distracted I'll be by my chaos army, they should see some paint soon.
Cheer's ya'll!

Templars of DOOooom: AHnold Redux

AHhnold is my defiler. My oldest defiler and one of my more ambitious conversions many moons ago. Before there was such a thing as a Soul Grinder, I married the fantasy Giant to my Defiler chassis. One thing I always disliked about the Defiler was the upper torso/turret, so I thought a giant would be perfect. Named after a certain bodybuilder/actor from Austria by my painting protege, Broodnest, combats with Ahhnold have a tendency to involve the odd bad imitation of an over the top Schwartzeneggar.


To most, AHhnold would be fine the way he is, but I think the old boy deserves an upgrade with the new codex. The first cuts are made.......

                          "AHHhlaauuuuuhhlaauuuuuuah!....I've bin Truu da CHOPPA!!...but..
                                                            I'll be BACK!"

So here's the first night's work. Stopping up some holes and making room for what's next....

 

Cheer's ya'll! ;)


Saturday, October 6, 2012

Great painting advice...from another Blog.

There's an old saying about opinions, like assholes... everyone's got one. Same generally goes for advice, especially unsolicited.

I find myself getting asked for painting advice, which I do my best to give. It works best if I can 'show' someone, because I'm not always good at explaining. Now... I'm a fine artist by training/education, cartoonist by trade. I've been painting with acrylic paints for 30 + years. And even though I was a student teacher in college (for figure drawing), I haven't done anything really instructional in over 20 years.

My fellow blogger and general all around kick ass hobbyist, Ron over at From the Warp did a great tutorial on values, which I would love to share HERE

Inspires me to do something more instructional... maybe. Or I'll just stick with the goofy battle reports. Wait a second.... I have a new Chaos Codex to read.  Bye....

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Out with the Old: A Battle Report.



Disclaimer: The following battle report was put together from sloppily written notes and a few pictures. It was played, once… with partially painted armies, with lists that were hastily put together, using tactics which (at least on my side) were not really thought out very well. Its purpose was to play one last game with an old codex and….basically all the models I have. It was also played……. for fun. No tournament players were harmed in the making of this battle report…….and preciously few Tyranids. Now….. to build a narrative……..

The ruins of Petrastad spread out before the Ahnek Ghul, known to the snivling wretches of this world as…that “Crab headed bastard with the big scythe”. Crab headed. They didn’t know mandibles when they saw then. And what of his 7 eyes.  7 in honor of the great Lord of Despair. What crab has seven eyes?  Ignorant savages. He would show them.  Well…. At least he planned to, until the damned Tyranids showed up and started eating them all. 

He’d petitioned the Marshals of the Templars of Doom to cleanse the city of the Tyranid menace…so he could teach these wretches a lesson. A lesson worse than being converted to biomass….or bug poop, whichever you preferred to call it.  The Doombull himself took up Ghul’s cause, mostly because he said he needed some fresh air and thought the defilers needed to blow off some steam…somewhere other than onboard their spacehulk the Bulwark of Despair. He found the massive Daemon Prince in a ruined mercantile building, talking to his constant companion nurgling. 

“We have lured a group of the beasts to the plaza a few blocks over, with green apples glazed donuts and bacon, M’lord” Ghul clacked through his mandibles. A string of popping flatulence resonated within his terminator armor as he walked, a gift from their loving patron for cutting a loyalist marine sergeant in half ...or at least that was HIS story. It might have been for selling the most at the Chapter bake sale, he wasn't really sure.

The Doombull scanned the rafters. “MMMmmmm, donuts.” It grumbled deeply. A nurgling repeated his every word. “Classic monster bait.  I hope we get a bunch of the little ones, I like the way they go ‘crak-squish’.” It gave a scolding look to the nurgling. “That’s really annoying, Butt nugget.”
“That’s really annoying, Buttnugget” the little creature repeated.
“Stop it, right now’
“Stop it right now”
“I’m not screwin’ around”
“I’m not screwi……”

The Doombull snorted and glared, grabbing its axe nearly twice the height of the Terminator. It squealed and ran beneath the skirt of a disguarded mannequin.
“You are so lucky you’re cute, ya little bastard” The beast grumbled. Its demeanor changed suddenly as it stood to its full height.”They are coming….. something isn’t right. I only hope the bacon didn’t attract something bigger. “

“It wasn’t cooked crispy, M’Lord. But I brought Smilin’ Bob and Ahnold, just in case. And we have the Khorne Dogs standing by.’ Ghul added. The great beast still looked troubled, but mention of the massive Defiler beasts brought a smile to the corner of his mouth.

“Come along, Butt nugget. Enough of your silliness, you have challenges to make for me.” The little creature popped out with a brazier stuck to his horn, smiling with glee. Oh, how he loved issuing challenges for his lord. He scurried up the beast’s back and took a seat on his rusty armored shoulder plate. The daemon prince scanned the broken building as it followed Ghul toward the market plaza, there was a hint of worry in its diseased eye. Just a hint.
Somewhere, among the remnants of the house wares department under a lazy susan, chitin clicked and chameleon scales shimmered, the Death leaper had found its target….. and bacon.

On a gloomy, overcast day- fitting for the demise of the old Chaos codex- we descended upon my local game store for a 2000 point throw down to say good bye to the old book.  The remnants of the fittingly named Pooping Gargoyle Mercantile Plaza, in what was once the lovely west side of Petrastad, would be the site of the Templars of Doom’s final ass-whoopi….er,uhm…  defensive action, before their ‘strategic withdrawal to let the buggies eat in peace” Here’s the basic set up…..


Facing my painting protégé’, the aptly named Broodnest,  I broke out the whole of the Templars of DOOooom, even utilizing my ‘objective’ marker, the plague bunny, as a Chaos Spawn.  Was it a good list? Probably not the best I could have built with what I had, but here it is in the basics.

Doombull-Daemon Prince of Nurgle-Warptime
Ahnek Ghul Crabface (Typhus)
8 Terminators of Khorne (the Dogs of Khorne- i.e. the Khorne Dogs)
10 plague marines in a rhino, w/ 2 meltaguns, Asp. Champ with powerfist
2x10 marines, Icon of Nurgle,plasmagun and missile launcher,Asp. Champ w/Powerfist
2 Defilers- Smilin’Bob (twin autocannon,havoc launcher,battlecannon) AHHHnold (2x CC, battlecannon)
Stompy- dreadnaught w/ multi-melta
Plague Bunny-chaos Spawn (i.e 40 points I should have used elsewhere, but I thought it’d be good for a laugh)

The exact Tyranid Hoard went something like this;
2 hive tyrants- one with wings, one with two tyrant guard afoot
3 (yeah-3) Trygons- Fluffy,Cuddles and Diego, Bertha the Tervigon. A Broodlord with about a dozen genestealers.  3 Zoanthropes,3 Hive Guard, a brood of @20 hormagaunts and a dozen termagaunts. And that sneaky little bastard…. The Deathleaper.

We rolled up our scenario and warlord traits totally random, since we just wanted to kill something and ended up with “Purge the Alien” and the “Vanguard Strike” set up. We both ended up randomly coming up with “legendary Fighter” as a warlord trait….which would NOT help my victory point score in the end by much.  I won the roll off (which is always a bad thing) and figured I’d let the bugs go first. With the green apples, glazed donuts and freshly cooked bacon placed by the fountain at the plaza’s center…. Deployment looked something like this. I was informed that the Deathleaper was out to get the Doombull, so his leadership was hampered. The intent to bugger up his use of Warptime….and it worked well. Sneaky little sh*t….

TURN 1: NEVER BUY DISCOUNT AMMO FROM AN ORK

With the Broodlord and his genestealers being the first to get the choice few crispy pieces of bacon after ‘infiltrating’ to the fountain, they decided they were feeling spunky and wanted to come play with the Defilers.  This was my first taste of the new psychic powers and the boy had rolled up some good ones. Biomancy (Endurance, hemmorage,Life Leech, mostly…with warp speed for the broodlord)for most of his critters, save the pesky flying Tyrant who had Telepathy(Puppet Master, terrify). Bertha cast Endurance on the flying critter to make him even more irritating, but most of the other attempts failed to do anything. The Hive Guard on the far right blew one of my marines away, but otherwise I suffered  little….at least until I returned fire.

It was then that I realized, buying missiles and bolter rounds from Ork freebooters is not always a great idea. If it sounds too good, it probably is. Neither missile launcher could hit anything. They set the tone for the game. The schmucks with bolters were actually great at hitting, though apparently a lot of the rounds were duds, because wounding would be an issue from the start.  Fluffy the Trygon and the 3 zoanthropes would feel the intended wrath of the two squads of marines for a few turns to come. And it would be the boltgun that did the bulk of it.  And the plasma gunner on the right of my line…… because the one on the left blew himself up on his first shot (and failed his save) Stompy rolled a ‘sane’ result, then proceeded to roll a “1”. 

TURN 2: ELECTRIC LIGHT ORCHESTRA

Deathleaper opened up the turn, popping up behind Ahnek Ghul as the store’s XM station played “Don’t Bring Me Down” by ELO. The Flying critter swung in behind Smilin’ Bob (Who I REEEEEAAAALLLLY should have deployed IN the building…duh…walker……) and shot his ass out, literally with his devourers and 6 penetrating hits. Being penetrated in the rear was too much for Smilin Bob, who flipped over and was wrecked….wait, that didn’t sound right. His carcass would however be useful later.  The Plaguebunny blindly charged the genestealers and was cut to ribbons. Then Ahnold joined in to squish one who jumped in front of his broodlord….or was pushed. I really think he was  pushed.

Deathleaper, did not fare so well against Ahnek Ghul, my Typhus stand-in.  The glory of poisoned weapons has been revealed to me. The great scythe killed the pesky critter long before he could get any bacon. And uncharacteristically free of incident, the Khorne Dogs (notorious in the past for various deep strike incidents) were guided in by icon and landed to reinforce the Doombull and marine squad. Stompy died horribly as a flesh and metal speed bump for Fluffy the Trygon. Not an impressive performance for the Stompmeister. He died a dreadnaught, but will be reborn a Hellbrute.


TURN 3: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!?!

The little bugs in the far back have found the green apples and seemed to be having a well deserved picnic, though I think they were chasing rats in the ruins too….or they found a keg. They actually found themselves out of synapse and just hung out for the rest of the game. The rest of the feces, however was approaching the fan at a high rate of speed.

Buffed up with Endurance from Bertha again (I think those two got something going on…. Either that or the flyrant likes heavy set girls) the Flyrant attempted to ‘Terrify” the Doombull.  Coupled with the threat of Deathleaper (who was still scaring the Doombull after being diced up for sushi by Ghul), this terrify thing is just plain sneaky….and nasty when aimed at the big fearless Daemon prince. However… I DENIED the Witch!!! YEAHHHHH, BABY!!

Combat was joined by the Flyrant, the Broodlord and his 4 remaining genestealers. They snarled, teeth gleaming, chitin flashing….until a diminutive little green butterball leapt up in front of them waving a crooked finger at the Broodlord “I….challenge YOOOUUuuuuuuuuuuuuu.” He cried. Even with all his agility and general coolness, the broodlord couldn’t make the wounds stick and I managed to make all of my saves but one (3 wounds remaining) Though another of his genestealers “just happened” to get in the way, the broodlord went squish. Legendary Fighter! Extra point. The celebration was short-lived.

On the other end of the building, Fluffy the Trygon had weathered a hail of fire and taken a couple wounds, but  that just pissed her off. The Khorne Dogs, a unit tooled to deliver a STUUUUUPID amount of attacks, went in their typical frothing, purple faced rage (well….they had their helmets on….but you get the idea) My opponent winced when he saw the sheer number of dice I laid out to roll. 12 Lightning claw attacks (with rerolls) 6 power weapon attacks. Nothing. Yup….not a friggin wound. Luckily for me the one dude with a powerfist managed to get 2 on the critter. Fluffy retaliated with 6 wounds from its Poisoned scythes (Toxin sacs…. F**K!)…. And I managed to roll 4…… FOUR ‘1’s. THEN…. I managed to roll a 12 for their moral check. The big, bad ass, skull taking, terminator armor wearing, "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!" screamin' Khorne Dogs ran like little bitches…. And Fluffy ran them down. If nothing else…. That friggin thing was going to die. ( *Author's note* A discerning eye may notice that Mr. Cuddles is standing in for Fluffy in the photos above. This is because Fluffy was being self concious about the large bulge in her belly from eating 4 terminators.)

Somewhere…. in the confusion, the Plague marines exit their Rhino and take cover in the shattered remains of Smilin’ Bob, as Bertha and the other Tyrant approach.

Fluffy gets shot up buy the marines and is finally….FINALLY KILLED…. And by what? The ONLY missile launcher wound of the game.  The Zoanthropes weather fire from the other squad with only a single wound.  Buttnugget throws his little diseased gauntlet at the Flyrant, ruining his glazed donut, and the challenge is joined. Somehow, ending in a stalemate.

TURN 4: IT WILL NOT DIE!
The Hive Guard starts things off with some excellent shooting, into the Marines in the building on the right wing. The two remaining trygons join in as well. The math is not looking good for my squad. However…. I can’t seem to NOT make their saves. They survive an amazing number of hits with no casualties.  The rhino carrying the plague Marines is not so lucky. The Zoanthropes skewer it with fire. It explodes and one of its former passengers feels the pain. The remnants of the Squad fire at Bertha and score a couple wounds. Of course, she has 6.  Both marine squads fire at the zoanthropes. Thanks to rapid fire from the squad still in the building on the right, they are whittled down. But even after 18 boltguns, 2 missile launchers (which missed…… again) and a plasma gun, there are still 2 left, each with a single wound.

The Doombull tries Warptime and , as he seems to do once in every game, took a wound from Perils of the Warp (Tzeentch’s fault…. No doubt) He loses a wound in the combat, but so does the Tyrant. They are still locked in combat. Just where I wanted that pesky flyin’ critter.
The victory point tally stands way against me  at 4 to 9.  

TURN 5: "LOOK!! BACON!!!

The foot Tyrant, his guards and the Tervigon  are still locked in combat with my 5 remaining plague marines. The marines in the buildings weather fire from the Zoanthropes, hive guard and two remaining Trygons only losing 1 of their number on the right. The trygons charge the building, but both fail to get enough distance out of the charge to get to the guys in the building.

The Doombull finally succumbs to the Flyrant, losing his last wound and being whisked away by his loving patron.  The marines in the buildings finally finish off the Zoanthropes. With boltgun fire. The plague marines are hacked down to 3, but their Champion kills Bertha with his powerfist. As the game ends, they still hold the Tyrant and his guard in close combat among the wrecked claws of Smilin’ Bob.
It’s a loss (10-5)- which never really bothers me- but at game’s end, I still had 3 plague marines, 15 nurgle marines and a half wounded Typhus left.  A very entertaining game. Sure I made some tactical mistakes and the dice were… entertaining, for both of us, but it was an epic send off to the old book.

Throw in the rest of the bacon!!! NOW!!!” Ghul yelled. The hive tyrant cued in on the flying iron skillet as it sped toward the gargoyle fountain in the square, spilling hot grease on his tyrant guard, who looked on empty eyed and impassionate, besides…… they had donuts. Ghul snapped his mandibles as he swallowed the last bloody piece he had hacked from the Deathleaper. It reminded him of mackerel with ginger. Oily, but with a sweet tang. “Let's get off of this sh*thole, before we have to feed these monsters the Boston crèmes!”

Great GRANDfather!! NOT the BOSTON CREMES!” Champion Scabborous yelled as he leapt from the second story ruin. The 7 remaining marines flung donuts and empty boxes to distract the Tyrant guard- not a hard thing to do- as they noticed the bloodied, ragged winged monster flap around the neighboring building toward the smell of fresh bacon.  Squad Pustus took the opportunity to vacate that building, scrambling over the remains of blood red terminator parts strewn among the ruins. Roland the plasmagunner scooped up what appeared to be a flailing brown-green sack that climbed up on his backpack still pointing and cursing at the flying beast.  Festus, tripped twice as he worked through the ruin, slapping and fiddling with his missile launcher the whole time.  Ghul would be speaking to that ork…what was his name? Blowback? Bristleback? Gristlefat? No-no that was one of the sorcerers. 

Well, he’d find him. And he was planning on shoving one of those dud missiles right up his……